…there is an old saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will come”. I think most of the bloggers here got picked out by a master teacher - we affectionately call him Baba. For me, certainly, his teachings help me to explore and understand these feelings within me. I feel super fortunate to have a spiritual family to speak about this side of my humanity with - I can imagine it might be tough to connect with like-minded souls where you are. If you would like any more information about our spiritual family, please have a look at http://www.anandamarga.org.uk and feel free to contact me through through the web.

but thankyou anyway.

I agree that living with a spiritual outlook is by no means an easy ride. Spiritual practice makes you very sensitive in a world with as much pain as beauty, as much sorrow as laughter.
It is not easy to live simply in a world of buy, buy, buy.

I like this story of Buddha - when asked whether God existed - he didn’t answer. His disciples then asked him if God didn’t exist - again he didn’t answer. This lack of answering has been IMHO misinterpreted by many different schools of thought over the years. I think that it suffices to say, that whatever we think God is, He is NOT (please excuse my use of the terms He and God here). That entity we like to chunk down and call God is beyond human mind - the smaller cannot hold the greater within its periphery.

But, if we sit quietly and allow the small limited mind to become still, motionless , there arises an inescapable feeling of presence, cosmic awareness. (Buddha did this without moving for forty days before reaching his realisation). I have tasted this feeling of infinite awareness over and over, and have spoken to many who have had the same experience. I think this feeling goes way beyond culture, belief in God or religion - this feeling is pure mysticism - no words, or even thoughts can capture it.

To say that this makes me feel emotionally satisfied is also a misnomer. I live in the awareness that I am being watched constantly - there is nothing I can do, or think even, that is not picked up by this cosmic awareness. This feeling forces me to make every effort to be a 24 hour a day moralist, and believe me, that is anything but easy and often emotionally really draining.

I could tell myself a “noble lie” and go back to being a pure atheist - that would be much easier, but there is a part of me that speaks loudest in those quiet moments that just wouldn’t buy it.

I consider god belief and religions to be culturally constructed memes.

They have purpose and many people feel emotionally satisfied from partaking in them, but are they a “noble lie” we tell ourselves?

I think so.

My own story has some common threads. I escaped any religious upbringing, although my jewish (south african) cultural roots definitely played a role in my identity. However, my childhood and adolescence were fairly a-spiritual and I was pretty much a convinced atheist.

That was until at the age of 18, the Cosmos led to me to a personal experience and realisation that would shift me onto the spiritual path and change my life completely.

But that is another dharmasphere post of its own!